


would you have me? would you want me? (the worst thing that I ever did, was what I did to you)

by anxiouspunk



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Family Feels, Fluff and Angst, Gen, I didn't even know I was capeable of writing under a thousand words, I know ‘betty’ is technically a romantic song but I was listening to it all through writing this, and I think the lyrics really apply here, and also the rest of the sibs in passing, let it be known now that I DO NOT support any of the sibling ships, that either the show or the fandom wanna promote, this is just some allison and sister feels, this is literally the SHORTEST thing I've written, title from tswift’s ‘betty’, which is apparently where I’m getting all my inspiration from recently, yay sisters!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-04
Updated: 2020-08-04
Packaged: 2021-03-06 02:08:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 907
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25715569
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anxiouspunk/pseuds/anxiouspunk
Summary: allison recalls what happened the last time she saw vanya when she was lying nearly lifeless in her arms. then what happens the first time she sees her when she's smiling at her from atop a balcony.
Relationships: Allison Hargreeves & Vanya Hargreeves
Comments: 4
Kudos: 97





	would you have me? would you want me? (the worst thing that I ever did, was what I did to you)

it was cold. 

that’s what allison remembers. how cold it was on that november night, despite the adrenaline gripping onto all of them. how chilly it was in that auditorium. the hit of cold dread going through her stomach when vanya started _glowing_ and _levitating_ before she started attacking them. how her sister’s timid and sweet brown eyes held nothing but ice blue. the cold and heavy handle of the gun she held in her trembling hand behind vanya’s head.

but there’s one part she remembers most. 

she remembers how  cold her sister’s body was. she remembers trying to pull vanya into her lap with fingers that could hardly grip on, her body like stone. the pale skin was  numb and there was no warmth left and all she could feel was terror that they’d been too late – until hitting her pulse. barely,  _ barely _ there under the freezing skin, and even if allison could speak, she wasn’t sure she would’ve been able to do more then barely nod to luther’s frightened question. 

and in the moment, all she could think about was how cold it’d been in that basement. the frigid air as she tried to push her feeble frame against luther’s to get to vanya, hearing the muffled cries. the chill she recalls at four years old, following her father diligently into that dark and cold room to do something to her sister that she didn’t understand. and then, therefore, how cold it must’ve been, in that chamber.

_all I wanted to be was a good sister to you._

it’s all coming apart now and they only have minutes before the moon crashes down and allison is trying to pay attention to what five is saying, all while wishing she could speak the  _ I’m sorryI’msorryI’msorry _ that she can no longer get out of her throat  and  curling her arms around her sister’s small body and hoping, perhaps foolishly, that’ll warm her up.

but all she could feel from the body limp in her arms, was cold.

-

the second time, it was warmer.

it was nice out and it wasn’t dark like it was before and allison wouldn’t lie, finding her siblings made it a bit better. finding klaus after  for so long thinking she was only one left of six, then luther, and then  _ five, _ following  behind klaus after he waltzed right into her house (thankfully without raymond home). of course he squirmed right out of her hug and said there was no time for  niceties and catching up less they wanted to save the world – but, in a way it made her smile, as five was putting business first. just like he always does.

he leads them to some hide-out; a large building with windows that let the sun shine in, dancing along the floors and warming the room up. and she’s laughing at something klaus is saying and she can feel the sunlight on her back, right as she looks up to the balcony and – 

‘vanya...’ 

five had already told her she was alive, but she was without her memories. so allison wasn’t exactly sure how to react; her heart wants to run right up those steps and pull her sister into a hug and finally breathe out that sigh of relief. but who knows how she’d react; not only to a stranger, but to _her_ specifically if anyone had told vanya what they did and that their relationship had more broken pieces then possibly any other sisters have.

however vanya is staring back down at her. she looks healthy and like herself and her eyes were light and  _ brown  _ like they’re  suppose to be. she watches and watches allison and  allison’s anxiety starts to rise. thinking of what she did when she was four, and what she tried to do again in the cabin and not stopping luther and  _ vanya I love you!  _ and _ stop saying that! – _

suddenly this _smile_ grew over vanya’s face that was so happy and unbelievably excited and allison swore she saw _sunshine_ nearly come off.

‘I can’t believe I have a sister..’ 

_a sister._ she’s excited to have _a sister._ before allison could even address that and the wetness swelling under her eyes, vanya is rushing down the stairs and coming to a stop before her, her nervous excitement barely keeping her smile down.

now allison can’t stop smiling. her sister was alive. she was alive and she  actually wants to see  _ her. _

‘I’m really happy to see you..’

she struggles to even get it out but not for the same reason as before.

‘I’m glad someone is..’ vanya jokes and allison makes a sidenote to talk to her brother about what the  _ hell  _ they’ve been saying to her but before that  vanya awkwardly holds up her arms and allison stutters out a  _ yes  _ before throwing her arms tightly around the small body. 

holds her just as close as before and tries to keep her tears down as  her fingers curl into the brown hair like before. except this time, vanya’s arms come around  her too  and squeeze just as tight. this time she can hear the gentle breathing and smile pressed against her shoulder of the girl who thought she had no family only to very well throw herself into the arms of her sister.

this time,  all  allison can feel  is  the sunlight soaking through her from the windows and  how  her sister’s body is  _ warm. _

**Author's Note:**

> did I cry at the 'I can't believe I have a sister' line and following scene?...maybe. did I also make myself cry while I was writing this? you know what, you ask too many questions -
> 
> expect a version somewhat akin to this from vanya's perspective soon bc I can't stop writing these two.
> 
> as always, hope you liked that and kudos & comments are much appreciated (if not downright begged for). find me on tumblr's blue void @paris-geller-was-straightwashed if you wanna see me currently yelling about tua and how much I love allison.


End file.
